This Spring, Please, Try Not to Jerk Off in Public

Nothing says "spring in Seattle" like dudes masturbating in public.by Katie Herzog Getty Images
Ahh, May. Finally, we've reached the time of year when we can put away our rubber shoes and let our gills dry out for a few weeks—at least until Junary rears its ugly head and we are reminded, once again, that life sucks. You may, in this season, be tempted to dive into Lake Washington on especially sunny days, which will be a rapid reminder that the water doesn't actually heat up until August 1