Savage Love Letter of the Day: Irreconcilable Differences

So my hubby and I have been together 20 years. The messages have been mixed. He's attracted to women much older than myself and much closer in age to him—we have a 20 year age difference—and he's also attracted to men. He had a terrible time trying to come to grips with his own sexuality and his inability to reconcile who he was with who he "was supposed to be" got mixed up into shame, guilt, infidelity, and addiction. Fine. Wherever. His sexuality did nothing but t