Remember: Today Is Washington State's Existentially Confusing Presidential Primary!

by Stranger Election Control BoardThere's an election today? Why yes, there's an election today! Sean Nelson
The Republican presidential nominee is already a foregone conclusion and the Washington State Democrats already used the March 26 caucuses to begin apportioning convention delegates. (Therefore the state Democratic party will be ignoring today's primary results.)So why the hell does today's $11.5 million statewide presidential primary even exist?
As in all matters, consult John Oliver and