I, Anonymous: Knives Out

by Anonymous Steven Weissman
Hundreds of us faceless, anonymous workers man the security gates at sporting events. We are given a list of prohibited items that we're required to confiscate or store (for $20 per item) in an effort to keep the crowd safer. Sometimes I feel bad for people who have to ditch their belongings. Other times, however... it shouldn't be a frigging shock that A KNIFE would be on such a list. Knives are not allowed in the stadium. Not even a cute little two-inch Swiss Army