I, Anonymous: Kitty Hate Machine

To the people who cheerfully declare that they have an "outdoor cat": I'd like to cheerfully declare that I'm an "outdoor neighbor" and park a giant turd on your doorstep. You see, your outdoor cat uses my yard as its personal toilet. My dog roots out the crap like a pig to truffles, eats it, and gets sick. Now, you could say I have a disgusting, dumbass dog, but you'd be missing the point…