I, Anonymous: iPhone Thief

by Anonymous STEVEN WEISSMAN
Hey, you asshole: Thanks so much for coming in my restaurant while I was cleaning the floor and stealing my iPhone. I have no idea how you did it that fast. I had to work really fucking hard to buy that, and you just took it in two seconds, you fucking shitfuck. Pictures of my children are on there. I can never get them back only because you are too much of a piece of shit to buy your own phone…