Heavy Metal's Illegible Fonts

You know what's NOT scary? The melted candle-wax font.
I'm admittedly NOT a metal head, bro, or dude. I DO, however, have some hesher tendencies. I like some late-'70s metal and PLENTY of the '60s long haired and heavy, but the Nu and Death and Doom and Speed and all the rest of the contemporary genres, y'all, I'm just not into 'em. I feel my lack of a taste for contemporary metal is due to four personal truths: 1.) I can't wear leather jackets, 2.) my sweet, beautiful baby fa