Baby, New Year Can Go Straight to Hell!

by Old Man Last Year IPGGUTENBERGUKLTD / GETTY IMAGES
That’s right—I said it! Baby New Year can go straight to hell! In case you’ve forgotten—and most of you have—I was Baby New Year once, too! In January 2018. And ohhhhh, you loved me then, didn’t you?
You had such high hopes for me and the new year. But now? You hate me. Why? Because I’m no longer an adorable infant upon whom you lay all your hopes and dreams. Now I’m OLD MAN LAST YEAR! A living,