Ask Your Next Door Neighbor, Hank Henderson

by Hank Henderson KOLDUNOV / GETTY IMAGES
Dear Next-Door Neighbor Hank Henderson: I noticed you glaring at me on several occasions as I passed your house. Care to explain?—Your next-door neighbor, Donna Tate
You’re goddamn right I was glaring, “Donna”—if that’s even your real name! Every day at exactly 8:27 am and 6:42 pm, your precious Pomeranian pisses and/or shits all over my blue elderberry bush... which is reducing my property values! Even an idiot like y