Ghost Stories Suck: Please Consider Your Alternatives

The Case Against Ghosts
Ghost stories are bad, almost by definition. They rely on malevolent spirits who literally cannot touch us—and certainly can’t kill anything. Zombies may not have the speed or the wits of the living, but they at least force us to run. Vampires, too, have their defects, but their bite is real. Ghosts, however, have to rely on smoke, mirrors, and boos to make their mark. This is not a good recipe for terror. When Halloween comes around, I want nothing more than