Ask Amy: Long-ago sexual assault haunts friendship

Dear Amy: My husband and I have been friends with another couple for 40 years. We get together socially, vacation together, visit each other’s homes in different states, etc.
My problem is that now it is very difficult for me to be with the female friend because of something that happened in the early ’90s. I thought that I had been able to put the incident out of my mind; but now I am finding that it is bothering me to the point that I cannot bear to talk to the friend, be with her,