The red state-blue state divide comes to a (shower) head

As many of my eagle-eyed readers noted, I failed to file a column last week, the first time in 83 weeks my pithy, cogent and perspicacious commentaries did not appear.
I was shooting to be the Cal Ripkin of opinion columnists but an arthritic knuckle on my left forefinger sidelined me, leading some of you to assume the worst. My inbox was jammed with emails.
“Hey McIntyre,” began one. “Did somebody over there finally read your junk?”
“At last!” said another di