Frumpy Middle-aged Mom: When Santa stops coming to your house, how do you adjust?

Ho ho ho. It’s the holidays, meaning the time of year when everyone’s supposed to be feeling jolly, right? The grocery stores put the hot cocoa mixes and marshmallows right up front, so you can have your cocoa by your blazing fire and decorate the tree, while you watch Christmas movies and sing along with them.
This always happens in Hallmark movies, so it must be true, right?
Listen, there’s a reason Santa’s fat, my friends, and it’s because he’s drinking all