Frumpy Middle-aged Mom: It’s holiday party season. I’d rather play with the dog.

Some of you might think that an Incredibly Glamorous Celebrity like me goes to a lot of parties, but that’s not the case.
Yes, it’s true that I am invited to a lot of Incredibly Glamorous Events (the annual Butter Churning Gala come to mind), but I seldom go. And I’m downright allergic to big parties, unless they’re in my honor or I know everyone there. Or there’s an open bar.
Just kidding, there’s not enough free alcohol in the world to make me enjoy chitchat