Frumpy Middle-aged Mom: I’m back and I’m buying too much at Costco

OK, I’m back, just like a bad penny, and I know you’re all just dying to hear the grisly details of my surgery and chemo, but wait, because I have something much more shocking to tell you: Yesterday, I spent $947 at Costco.
Seriously, I did. I knew it was going to be bad news when the checkout clerk gave a little involuntary “whoa!” as he hit the “total” button. But I still nearly passed out, right there in line.
Let me make it clear I wasn’t buying any