Frumpy Middle-aged Mom: I love the beach, especially watching it on TV

Good morning. I’m enjoying my steaming hot adult beverage while quarantining in my own home, and I hope you are, too. Unless you’re at the beach. Then, I will just have to tsk-tsk as I look at the newspaper stories of crowded beaches, and judge people for doing what only recently I would have envied them for being able to do.
I don’t personally go to the beach, you understand. I only do that when someone comes to visit from out of town. Then I pretend that I’m constantly