Essay: How to be miserable, and survive

1. Devour literature, study, speak several languages and still come to the conclusion that the only way you will ever be loved – or even breathe properly – is to capture the attention of a man. An average accountant or nice, sexy surfer will never do, but a domineering and handsome man, like The Captain in “The Sound of Music,” for instance? Now he’s perfection.
2. Land The Captain by first capturing his eye. He’s already seen you in your Lululemons