Bikini season for you, burka for me

Well, I contacted the fashion police.  “Can you help me? My clothes shrink while they are in the closet.”
Their nasty response was that I may possibly be living beyond my seams, it seems.
I needed a plan. I started the Paleo diet. I became compulsively attracted to men with long arms and body hair from head to toe. Found I could only write in caves. Unfortunately, one with a good wall wasn’t in my Mutual.
I switched to the Mediterranean diet but the cost of weekly flights