Are you making $185 an hour to read this?

I read the newspaper every morning — I read three papers every morning — because, well, what are you going to do. They hit the end of my driveway before the sun comes up, and I need to bring them in so that … come to think of it, I don’t imagine these days that they are in much danger of being stolen by the early dog walkers.
So let’s say I read the papers out of habit, one I picked up when I was 4 years old, and haven’t kicked yet. I started writing for and