All I want for Christmas are gadgets with regular names

Santa, if you’re reading this, please use your intense occult powers to do me a favor this festive season: stop companies naming their products incomprehensibly. Please? I’ll leave you some weed-laced cookies? Just make sure I get gadgets with regular names. This trend of ridiculously named hardware irritated me before, but hit fever pitch recently when I was trying to buy a wake-up light. This is, as it sounds, a light that wakes you up. Effectively, they simulate the sun risi