Why I'm not getting a $999 iPhone

I think Apple did a good job with its new phone. It puts a big screen in a small body. Bezels? Gone. And the Face ID hardware conveniently powers the most adorable thing ever: Animoji. Plus, Nilay said the iPhone X feels like "the future of the smartphone," and I love the future.
I'm due for an upgrade: My iPhone 7 has a broken screen, and I already feel the battery fading. I typically buy one phone a year, and it's been a year. The insatiable consumer in me feels an urge to buy something, and t