This toilet recognizes your butthole and uploads photos to the cloud

Stanford scientists want you to boldly go where no one has gone before. Specifically, that would be into a camera-laden toilet that scans and recognizes your analprint. 
According to a paper published today in the journal Nature, researchers at the storied university have devised a system for tracking defecation and urination by specific individuals over time, sending that data to the cloud, and analyzing it for the purposes of public health. It's the latest addition to a long line of smart