The best and worst platforms for DTR convos, ranked

To send or not to send the carefully composed text? It's a question many a love-seeking youth has asked themselves in an age in which swiping leads to texting leads to hanging out leads to banging leads to ... who the heck knows? Yep, we're talking about the dreaded "Define the Relationship" (DTR) convo, also known as the "Where is this going?" discussion.
Ideally, DTRs are open and honest face-to-face conversations between two people to discuss what they mean to each other. But that is not nece