Learn the Microsoft Office skills recruiters care about for less than $20

Here's the thing: no hiring manager is going to be impressed when you claim that you're proficient in Microsoft Office. That's like saying that you know how to tie shoelaces or can distinguish left from right.
Oh, you know how to italicize a chunk of text and add transitions between slides? Congratulations, the rest of the population does, too. 
When applying for a job in 2018, you're already expected to know these things, and mentioning in your résumé something as generic as