How to stay cool this summer: be the CPU beneath this heatsink

It’s that time of year again where I consider giving up all video game activities on my laptop due to it being too damn hot to touch. I bought one of those laptop cooling pads one year with some built-in fans, but that didn’t really work. The only real way to keep a CPU cool is something like this Scythe Kabuto 3 heatsink. Or moving to Antarctica. Everything else is playing pretend.
The Kabuto 3's fan can move up to 113 cubic meters of air per hour across its myriad fins and heatpipe