High quality toilet paper saves dude from a nightmare

Don't buy the crappy toilet paper — your body deserves better.
While most people purchase the good toilet paper to treat themselves to a bit of luxury, one pampered person discovered an unexpected benefit from upgrading their roll. He texted the whole story to his friend and later uploaded it to Imgur, because the internet deserved to hear the tale. 
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Imgurian warjerch was in the middle of doing a load of lau