Eulogy for the perfect headphones

I wish the doctor had mentioned hysteria before he broke my jaw.
After seven weeks of watching The Simpsons DVDs, eating cheddar soup through a syringe, and communicating through a dry erase board, I snapped. It was a cool summer evening, and the smell of fragrant — and, more importantly, solid — food wafted from the living room, where my parents were eating a snack. I was in the bathroom investigating my hair. It was frizzy and patchy from malnutrition, and atop my 95-pound frame, t