Dongles, ranked

It's a dongle-ful world, everybody, and it's all Apple's fault.
Some companies like Samsung and LG still ship their flagship phones with a headphone jack, but those days are numbered, especially because Google, HTC, Motorola, and Essential have all followed Apple into the darkness, where phones without headphone jacks live unhappily with a dongle jammed into their ports.
But not all dongles are created equally. Does size matter? What about stiffness? There's much to be curious about! Which is wh