Beach Fight: Kyocera's $80 waterproof phone vs. a waterproof phone bag

Every time people have asked me if I want to go to the beach this summer, I have one response: "Sure, for like half an hour." I mean, I don't mind the trek. And I like looking at the ocean and walking in the sand for about five seconds. It's also cool to take off my shirt and suck in my gut for a while to pretend like I did any beach bod prep at all this year.
But the beach is fraught with dangers. As soon as you go into the water, or lay down for five seconds, or basically even think about leav