FUNKY LAWN SEX ... (just kidding it's a yard sale)

Ahhh, Spring in Georgia!The weather is infuriatingly unpredictable, ants are preparing their assaults on our kitchens, and pollen has us by the nads.
So we're having a yardsale!
Or really, Mom is having a yard sale and I get to write the CraigsList ad. They used to let me make signs, too, but I kept zoning out and writing "YARD SARD" by accident and wasting all their poster board.
Seriously, fam...Mom has an entire storage building primarily allocated just for all the crap she doesn't need but r