Fredrik Eklund Felt 'Helpless' After Devastating Miscarriages: 'I Was a Mess'

For as long as Fredrik Eklund can remember, the Million Dollar Listing: New York star dreamed of becoming a father.
“Even when I was very young, I always saw myself with my own family, and having many kids,” he tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue. “As a little boy, I always felt that.”
So when he wed painter Derek Kaplan in 2013, the pair made plans to start a family. In 2015, the couple hired a surrogate, who became pregnant with twins, but she suffered a miscarriage