Rusty Metal Farm has always been, and will always be goat-free

I know, I know - I live in the country, on a farm with plenty of room. How can it be that there are not at least one or two of the furry little critters gamboling about? There are goat breeds, goat husbandry, goat food, baby goats, goats in sweaters, goats in pajamas, goats doing yoga, runaway goats doing a ridealong with the Belfast police and the most famous Maine goat of all, Buttermilk who has her own YouTube channel.