Why copywriters must kick the sh*t out of their brief

Throughout the considerable canon of apocalyptic zombie television, there is not a single ragged group of survivors that contains a copywriter.
 
The reasons for this should be upsettingly clear. How many of our inky number would have been picked off in the first wave of attacks – our brains slurped from our skulls like Ribena as, inevitably, we push at the pull door.
 
But while, as a species, we may be more suited to smugly circling a misplaced apostrophe than smashing in the s