Saturday-night fever: the substitutes’ bench can’t save Strictly, I’m A Celebrity and X Factor

Are the wheels flying off your TV franchise? It’s surely time to scrap it if you’re roping in Holly Willoughby, Mr and Mrs Robbie Williams and Lee from BlueThe X Factor begins going through the motions again on Saturday, marking Lost in Showbiz’s duvet-and-Deliveroo descent into autumn competition television that doesn’t end until Tess Daly lets out that final “keep dancing” from behind her 1,000-mile stare, nothing left to give, clasping Claudia’s