Traveling with kids through Europe’s Low Countries

After years of saving up points and diligently pouring over the requisite guidebooks, my immediate thought after booking our highly-anticipated vacation was: Oh no, I’ve just booked a two-week vacation in Europe with my young children. What ARE we going to do?
These are the same children who go limp when I ask them to walk a quarter block. The ones who throw me a suspicious look whenever I tell them we’re trying something new for dinner. There would have to be sacrifices: goodby