Trans Mountain: Congratulations, fellow Canadians, on your new pipeline

Congratulations on your purchase of the Trans Mountain pipeline!
When the project is complete, each Canadian will own 5.87 centimetres of the 2,130 km of pipeline carrying diluted bitumen from Strathcona County, just outside of Edmonton, to Burnaby, B.C.
Don’t get too excited — it’s only a sliver of the entire thing. Maybe you can name it Dilbert or something. Sing it a song. Wrap it in ribbon. You do you, fellow Canadian.
The federal price tag on your pipeline comes to $4.5 bi