My not-so-amazing black widow spider adventure in Edmonton apartment

I bought a plant and ended up with a nasty house guest. On Wednesday night after arriving home from work, I planned to kick back and relax on the couch. Those plans quickly went awry when I noticed a large black figure floating in the air by my newly purchased plant.
The figure, it turns out, was a spider about five centimetres long. Now, readers should note I understand the usefulness of spiders.  I would like to see them live, but judging by the size and upon closer — and highly cau