Schukov: My first computer — and my last

I was recently cleaning out my attic (after I remembered I had one) and unearthed my very first word processor — a user hostile, ergonomically bankrupt, beta-test failing, algorithmically ailing contraption. (It didn’t like me either.)
Despite a shaky honeymoon, the old UNIVAC (Universal Automatic Computer) and I had an understanding: “You don’t make word-processing hard on me and I won’t ask you to print more than three pages at a time.” (We both lied through